thirty one

point forward to tomorrow
grin back at yesterday
the present is full of sleepless nights
one of us always pays

we made love on a rooftop garden
in a windy place of a foreign land
memories flow back from that night
but now i seal the pain that binds your hands

just a retrospection
a savior and one lost
but what a shame
love often leads
to signals that are crossed

when she is here but she is gone
standing on your dirty lawn
standing in your dirty thoughts
no words
no mouth
she's so withdrawn

she said no
love will not come
so will you wait
or embrace decay

the choice is yours
i hope you stay

kings

my eyeballs are dry and i'm wondering why
i'm so damn unsatisfied
the snow won't be 'round long and i'm done being wrong
but i'm so damn unsatisfied

i know there's a time when i need to give in
it doesn't matter
i don't even know what i'm trying to win

it feels like i'm smashing an empty pinata
it feels like playing kings by myself
it's hedonistic
it's intrinsic

and i feel so empty when i'm not pessimistic

a vacancy proceeds
whether my heads up high
or on my knees
so i'll fill it up
with a paper cup
full of pills

just kiss them back until you can't
until you don't feel better