jesse is sleeping 2

your mouth hanging open
as you sleep on past noon
your arms at your legs
like you're curled in the womb
your back is turned to me
shoulder blades on my face
i wonder if you feel the kisses i place
on your spine
on your muscles
while you slumber sandmen's grace
my eyelids are heavy
and my mouth can't yet move
but i'll always find a way to say
i love you

a-ok

what is best for you
may not be best for me
it's taken 19 falls for me to see

the ego is a fickle thing
forces you to abide
but i promise you there is another side

because
what is best for me
might not work for you
and what is best for you
is not for me
what can learn to be
i swear that in time you will see
what is best for you
is not for me

i know a girl who sniffed
or shot something inside her everyday
but she told me hey, i'm a-ok
i know a boy who worked his ass off
saving for a later date
that might not come, but hey, he's a-ok

so i don't question what they do
or find hell to put them through
why should everyone go the same way?

because
what is best for me
might not work for you
and what is best for you
is not for me
what can learn to be
i swear that in time you will see
what is best for you
is not for me

the overindulgence of drugs and true love

when those scarred arms wrap around mine
it feels like that hit i got the first time
it feels like home
like i'm never alone
maybe that's why i never want to leave
why every time we part i just want to grieve
i copy and paste my thoughts unto you
and you make me feel like they are worthy and true
you make me feel like i could cry like the rain
'cos i can't stand to go home again and again
when those scarred arms hold me, i don't want the drugs
i don't want the needle
i just want your love
when you look into my face you are all that i feel
and sometimes i just can't believe this is real
'cos when i am bored i can just talk to you
we talk and we talk until we turn blue
though sometimes i feel like i'll just turn away
and instead meet the white lady
like i did yesterday
so i'll hop on my bike
i'll ride into town
and look at the trees as i'm drifting around
and sob into my hands
'cos i don't know what to do
when i'm missing the drugs
but turn to you

allegheny monogahela ohio

everything is beautiful
everything is safe
your thoughts will never hurt you
your mind will never break

flowers and marble patios
to smoke cigarettes on
and a vase filled with reisling wine
to drink when i am gone

it never rains here
but the grass does flow
don't you worry how
you'll never know

don't think about this
it just brings pain
don't think one single thought again

'cos everything is beautiful
everything is safe
your thoughts won't hurt you anymore
your mind will never break

but if you find you tire of
this happiness you find
turn the sun dial to the three rivers
dig your grave into the ground

earth

it keeps me grounded
like your god
in the bitter earth
in the passing fog
that i see from the top deck
with the rising morning sun
that reaffirms everything
we thought we had won

tressa weis

There was one day when I looked in the mirror
Saw everything I wanted to see
But now that image continually get clearer
Faded greys, and oranges, and pinks
And I realize what I saw was distorted
By the self-medication I once knew
I see what lies in the "true me" and
I don't know how to get through

I'm so confused
Don't know what to do
Rely on you
I wish I knew...

looking past all that

that mysterious girl with the funny expression looks away from you
down into her lap, where she plays a hand rolled cigarette like a flute
you didn't know those half smile lips would end up sticking like glue
that you'd feel the pale soft skin of her chest and her breath move

nothing is what you expect
it just feels like the best
and she feels it too, ya know
but she doesn't know what to do

there's a crack under the hair she dyed to emulate mimsy and edie and mia
says that she tells you everything under there, but the truth is you have no idea
you see the hands tick and the cogs beneath turning in the hidden galleria
it makes you feel guilty but it turns you on, the little girl lost, your Cytherea

nothing is what you expect
it just feels like the best
but you better watch out, ya know
'cos she just doesn't know what to do

so just keep rolling on
what other choice do you have?
so just keep rolling on
until things get too bad

so just keep rolling on
the only choice you want to have
so just keep rolling on
right now things aren't too bad

there's an outline of a problem in the imprint her frame leaves on your bed
but all you can view is the lines that come from her smiles and the dimple instead
and the feeling that rises like the steam from her coffee maker when you open the lid
all the plans and the trips you imagine for you and her in the time still ahead

nothing is what you expect
it just feels like the best
but you better watch out, ya know
'cos she just doesn't know what to do

so just keep rolling on