waste

i went around too far to come back
and i knew what was coming to me
it still hits as hard as a heart attack
it hurts so much to be free

all i want to do is drink this shit away
with the black label stuck on my chest
but the sky still looks so gray today
because that boy was the best

so down another one and we'll toast to the past
deep down we knew that nothing would last

mnye nuzhna ona

pupils backed by green and brown
sliding sliding all the way down
and i can't retreat to where i can't be found

my focus remained upon those hips
pink lips covered by fingertips
there is a burning in my core
telling me to ask for more

now she's in the back room making out
with some dumb kid that she's all about
though i just met her i feel so sad
'cos i know she's all i never had

just wanna go down on that smooth soft skin
but i can't tell her, i can't begin
can't stand the idea of her scorn
she was not born as i was born

so i'll go and make love to my man
and pretend i feel those pretty hands

jesse is sleeping 2

your mouth hanging open
as you sleep on past noon
your arms at your legs
like you're curled in the womb
your back is turned to me
shoulder blades on my face
i wonder if you feel the kisses i place
on your spine
on your muscles
while you slumber sandmen's grace
my eyelids are heavy
and my mouth can't yet move
but i'll always find a way to say
i love you

a-ok

what is best for you
may not be best for me
it's taken 19 falls for me to see

the ego is a fickle thing
forces you to abide
but i promise you there is another side

because
what is best for me
might not work for you
and what is best for you
is not for me
what can learn to be
i swear that in time you will see
what is best for you
is not for me

i know a girl who sniffed
or shot something inside her everyday
but she told me hey, i'm a-ok
i know a boy who worked his ass off
saving for a later date
that might not come, but hey, he's a-ok

so i don't question what they do
or find hell to put them through
why should everyone go the same way?

because
what is best for me
might not work for you
and what is best for you
is not for me
what can learn to be
i swear that in time you will see
what is best for you
is not for me

the overindulgence of drugs and true love

when those scarred arms wrap around mine
it feels like that hit i got the first time
it feels like home
like i'm never alone
maybe that's why i never want to leave
why every time we part i just want to grieve
i copy and paste my thoughts unto you
and you make me feel like they are worthy and true
you make me feel like i could cry like the rain
'cos i can't stand to go home again and again
when those scarred arms hold me, i don't want the drugs
i don't want the needle
i just want your love
when you look into my face you are all that i feel
and sometimes i just can't believe this is real
'cos when i am bored i can just talk to you
we talk and we talk until we turn blue
though sometimes i feel like i'll just turn away
and instead meet the white lady
like i did yesterday
so i'll hop on my bike
i'll ride into town
and look at the trees as i'm drifting around
and sob into my hands
'cos i don't know what to do
when i'm missing the drugs
but turn to you

allegheny monogahela ohio

everything is beautiful
everything is safe
your thoughts will never hurt you
your mind will never break

flowers and marble patios
to smoke cigarettes on
and a vase filled with reisling wine
to drink when i am gone

it never rains here
but the grass does flow
don't you worry how
you'll never know

don't think about this
it just brings pain
don't think one single thought again

'cos everything is beautiful
everything is safe
your thoughts won't hurt you anymore
your mind will never break

but if you find you tire of
this happiness you find
turn the sun dial to the three rivers
dig your grave into the ground

earth

it keeps me grounded
like your god
in the bitter earth
in the passing fog
that i see from the top deck
with the rising morning sun
that reaffirms everything
we thought we had won